Pepsi man vs The Noid

Description
Episode 1: Pepsi vs dominos. 2 classic commercial characters battle to the death. Who will win.

Interlude
Deco: Commercial. The videos that advertise a certain product.

Turbo: That is the weirdest opening to a first episode ever.

Deco: Pepsi man, The soft-drink super hero.

Turbo: and the Noid, the pizza bomber. She’s the Deco and I’m Turbo.

Deco: and it’s our job to find out who win a fan war fanon.

Pepsi Man
Deco: Pepsi. The drink remarkably close to coca cola. But of course they would need a mascot.

Turbo: So they sold their souls to make this Aldrich hell spawn.

Deco:..

Turbo: THATS MY PERSONAL HEADCANNON!

Deco: Well now its Pepsi man’s job to fufill the Pepsi can shaped hole in the world. It was..... SOMEHOW successful. They even made a city out of it.

Turbo: a city that turns INTO A POST APOCALYPTIC WASTELAND if they don’t get there daily UN-recommended amount of PEPSI.The APOCALYPSE folks, sponsored by PEPSI.

Deco: It doesn’t matter wether the store with thirsty customers is out of Pepsi. The saviour of Pepsi town can create Pepsi out of thin air!

Turbo: that is..... the lamest super power ever!

Deco: I mean .. he can fire them like a projectile.

Turbo: first of all, you mean he CAN and 2nd of all, it’s a PEPSI can. Whats he gonna do? quench them to death?

Deco: More like throw it at speeds at high speeds most likely fracturing or breaking whoever it hits skull.

Turbo:.... PEPSI CAN.... SHATTERING MOTHERF****** SKULLS

Deco: yes... But to deliver coca col- I MEAN PEPSI to thirsty,whiny children (which he can hear from miles away) Pepsi must have some special properties to make the brats to shut up. It’s possible that this Pepsi crafted by the mannequin mascot,may actually hydrate you. Even when stranded in the desert or in a burning building. But to get to the thirsty civilians.He needs to run

Turbo: He’s out ran trucks,logs,motorcycles and giant coca cans because these people are insane. Unfortunately Everyones afraid of this abomination so they attempt to murder him. He‘s survives metal girders smashing in to his skull, running in to furniture, being smacked in the face by metal girders and cranes. But that’s just the ps4 game feats. His greatest feats come from the ads. He survived a massive crash from a snowboarding accident. Not only did he survive a fall so high up into water that it should turn his brain to mush but also getting his head stuck in the ground of the pool. He also got hit in by a semi truck which he outran until he accidentally went in to.

Deco: But the problem..... is he’s a idiot. Always running into injuries and jumping from what would be suicidal for a normal human.

Turbo: Who cares?! Cause this soft drink super is more of a hero then super man himself

Pepsi man chugs a can of Pepsi

announcer: PEPSI MAN

The Noid
Deco: Dominoes pizza.

Turbo: hang on I’m gonna barf.

Deco: Ok while some may have ...a negative opinion on the brand none would take it quite as far as the Noid. This rabbit man hybrid does whatever he can to destroy pizza.

Turbo: you’ve got to admit .... he’s dedicated. His life goal is completely stupid. But he’s dedicated.

Deco: The Noid has a entire arsenal to disperse of dominoes. A bomb with a large capital black N. Used to destroy ..... single boxes of pizza. Even-though those bombs have the force to destroy buildings seeing how it launched him in to space and all. The Noid has a pizza crusher, laser and knows magic.

Turbo: he’s survived being in space after a explosion and great falls.

Deco: but according to my calculations he’s in the top fictional characters who fail most of the time. Like seriously. Id say get a life but if you can’t destroy a pizza there’s nothing you can do.

Turbo: yeah but you should avoid the Noid. Not because he’s dangerous but he’s just a creepy man rabbit thing in pajamas.

mayor west: maybe the Noid should have avoided me.

Interlude
Alright the combatants are set. Still can’t believe we’re doing this. Here we go.

Just Fight!
New York city

A average day for the city. However dominoes pizza was having a stranger day then usual. A strange rabbit man held the person at the counter at gun point... well ice ray point. He pulled the trigger and the poor employe was frozen solid. The noid noticed a small child sipping a can of Peps. The noid jumped and slapped the can out of his hands. The child was noticeably about to cry but just before he could begin to wail a Pepsi can mysteriously appeared out of nowhere. The child chugged it down as the noid just stood there in confusion. But then a silver hand hit across the rabbit man’s jaw. He stumbled back, looked up and saw the soft drink super hero standing ready to fight.

FIGHT!!!

The noid fire a laser which Pepsi man quickly avoided. He slid towards the fiend but his waist was smashed down by the noid on his pizza crusher. Over and over his waist got bashed in. The noid then quickly hopped to his chest and began to jump hard on his chest beating it in. He hopped to both sides.Pepsiman was getting crushed.

But then Pepsi man leaped up and grabbed the noid by the throat sending the pizza crusher out of control bouncing around. In the air Pepsi man payed a beatdown consisting of multiple punches and kicks before punching him downwards, exactly Where the pizza crusher was heading for. It bounced right of him and it started picking up speed, so much that everyone in the restaurant decide to leave.

Outside 

The noid used his wand to teleport outside. Pepsi man went in for another hit but the noid teleport Ed behind him. Pepsi man went to hit him again but once more he teleported. They did this for a bout a minute. Eventually the saviour of Pepsi man stopped to take a breath the noid through a N Bomb which launched him at least20 feat in the air. The hero of Pepsi town began rocketing face first into another N bomb, which promptly bow up in his face. Pepsi man landed back first on another one.

Then first on another three launching him 90 feet in the air and planted his head in the asphalt, like in the swimming pool commercial. Just as he pulled his head out of the ground, the Noid has donned his ice—ray. Pepsi man ran as fast as his legs could carry him and narrowly avoided getting frozen as he speeded down the alleyway. The Noid ran to where his foe had escaped to, but when he arrived all he saw was a cactus. Confused, the Noid turned around. A fatal mistake.

Pepsi man threw a Pepsi can from so far away it frazzled the machine. The Noid span around into the middle of the street. The Noid lifted up his right leg and stuck out both his arms out of the dizziness. The ice ray blew up and the Noid was frozen solid. Pepsi man ran up to his frozen enemy and struck up a victory pose. Pepsi man decided to spare his enemy and turned to the fast food area. But the out of control pizza crusher suddenly rocketed out of the restaurant and smacked him straight into Pepsi mans gut and sent him right through the frozen upper Half of the Noid. The ice shards fell on to the asphalt a long with the unconscious Pepsi man and pizza crusher.

Fatality!

analysis

Turbo: Oh sh#t that was epic!

Deco: The Noid may have had a wider and trickier arsenal and was smarter being able to create the mechanical inventions he uses and learn magic. But Pepsi man was clearly the better fighter.

Turbo: the average speed of a rabbit and human is the same, 45km. But the Pepsi man clearly runs faster then that. around 54 km.So he’s faster then the rabbit person.

Deco: There around equal in durability. Space and landing head first in the ground are extremely powerful feats. But there’s no confirmation he cant breathe in space Because he’s clearly not human. Making the soft drink super hero more durable.

Turbo: and the MOTHER F#CKING SKULL SHATTERING Pepsi cans outclass any strength feat of the Noid. Looks like Pepsi man got a piece-a the Noid. Get it, pizza.

Deco: The winner is Pepsi man

NEXT TIME!!!

THE PAPER THIN FLOWING KARATE MASTERS

PARAPPA THE RAPPER

VS

KARATE JOE

Parappa vs Lucio

Fan war arena is basically just death battle arena but with fan wars fanon characters. I thought it was a cool concept so i did my own version

FAN WAR ARENA: PEPSI MAN

Name: Pepsi man

homeword: Pepsi

race: Aldrich abomination

Title: The soft drink super-hero

Bio: I don’t know man..... Just look at him. In the episode I joked that Pepsi sold their souls to create this ... thing. But since I ain’t got nothing....... f#£k it. Pepsi selling their souls is now canon to the Pepsi man lore. Sorry this is as bare bones as it gets. Or bare-beverage? It kinda looks like he has skin like a Pepsi can. Does he have a skeletal system or is he like a arthropod? Who cares the bios done.

Special moves

Pepsi can throw - Pepsi man throws a can of Pepsi at the opponent. I know super creative right? However the further apart they are the more damage deal.

Can it wont ya? - A hollowed cola coloured barrel falls from the sky if the opponent is trapped in it, they’re open to attack.

Bottled up - Pepsi man shakes a bottle of Pepsi as you hold the button. He will shake it for as long as you hold the button. The longer you hold the harder it hits.Eventually the entire drink will pop out the bottle. However he is open.

Jump up - Another chargeable attack for as long as you hold the button. He’ll jump up and land on the foe. After he hits or misses his head will be stuck in the ground leaving him open to attack

X ray

A giant can falls on the opponents head

broken skull x-ray

Then the can bounces to Pepsi man whose heel lands in the opponents

broken frontal lobe X ray

finally one last punch to the gut

broken rib cage x-ray

FATALITIES

MENT-OH NO- Pepsi man reels his arm back and punches a hole through the chest of the opponent but not through their back. He then cracks open a cold can of PepsI, drops one mento in it and places it in the hole. The fizzy pop explodes completely obliterating the torso, sending the head high up in to the air.

Drink it up- Pepsi man puts some sort of pump in the opponents mouth and flips a switch. Pepsi is forced down the foes digestive system. The opponent inflates getting bigger and bigger until they EXPLODE! Scattering organs and bones everywhere.

Friendship- DRINK ALL YOUR PROBLEMS AWAY

Pepsi man dramatically turns to see a kid crying, screaming. His mother trying to cover her ears, and a Pepsi can leaking. Pepsi man sprints and gives the kid a can. The kid starts chugging it down, the mom looks relived and Pepsi man strikes a victory pose.

intro: Pepsi man skids into the scene... thats it

outro: Pepsi man pours a glass of Pepsi.

Stage: Pepsi town

Rival Cutscene

Pepsi man walks around Pepsi town but.... there was no people to deliver refreshing cans of Pepsi. Pepsi man looks down in sorrow as he walks.

BOOM!

Pepsi man looks up and runs to where he heard the explosion come from. When he arrived he saw what was left of a dominoes pizzeria and a rabbit looking man laughing his ass off at it.

Pepsi man throws a can of Pepsi towards the back of his skull. The Noid grabs the back of his head in surprise and pain. He turns to see the hero of Pepsi town which immediately enraged him. The Noid stomped his foot up and down repeatedly before getting in a fighting stance. Pepsi man does the same.

fade to the black

ending

infinite universes at his fingertips. Pepsi man had many possibilities on what he could do, yet only one thing crossed his mind. So many universes had to suffer without the true purpose of life. Pepsi man had to give it them. Those universes finally had... Pepsi. What else were you expect.

FAN WAR ARENA: THE NOID

Name: the Noid

homeworld: domino’s

race: rabbit man

title: The pizza bomber

Bio: Dominoes pizza. No on can say what about this pizzeria causes his blood to boil as much as it does. The Noid has been infuriated by the place for years. Can that hatred get him far?